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Thursday, September 13th, 2007
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Friday, August 10th, 2007
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working my last shift at hallmark, bored out of my skull. johnny is away at his dads for the weekend, which sucks. i think i'll work on this painting i started at the start of summer... i never have time to paint anymore, and i want to get it done at some point... so i'll do that... and just relax... maybe rent some chick flicks or something. light candles. eat chocolate. give myself a facial. paint my nails. =p i will probably go to the gym too.
i cant wait to be free from this place... it is so dull here. most of the customers are total assholes. buying cards really brings out the worst in people, i think. and webkinz! oh dont even get me started on fuckin webkinz.
i have just over an hour and a half left and then i am totally done... thats wicked...
i've been asked out after work by two different guys tonight... that never happens. young guys never even come here... unless they are dragged by their girlfriends. its usually all old people and pregnant women. anyway it was very awkward... waiting the 20 seconds for the debit machine to ring through so i could get them out... one was all "you goin out after work? wanna come get drunk with me? yeah?"
no thanks. you're ugly.
so lame.
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hmmmmmmmm
things are ok
sorted out my university schedule.
its not ideal though. its fuckin annoying actually. im not looking forward to waking up obscenely early almost every morning but... i can always sleep through lectures i suppose. and not one of my classes is a 'first choice'... most are second/third/last resorts. it sucks. but i cant really do anything about it.
blegh.
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You don't have to believe it, or anything, just at least give it a chance. Nothing in it is really brand new- but it's still worth watching. I enjoyed it in the sense that it made me feel a bit paranoid and a bit depressed.
It's nearly 2 hours long, but find the time to watch it. It's interesting.
Muah.
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| Time: | 12:17 am. |
| Mood: |  cheerful. |
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me in knossos, crete.
i have got dozens and dozens of crete photos left.
mostly of knossos, and a few of a venetian fortress in iraklion. in time i'll probably post em all
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Saturday, July 21st, 2007
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rough day yesterday.
on my way to work i nearly got fined by the transit police... i started crying (i wasnt faking it either, i am pretty lame) and they let me off... it would have been $150... fuckin gayyy... but oh well, the guy was sympathetic... a bit.
anyway, i had a rough time at work too, about 20 minutes after my manager left me (i usually work shifts on my own, and i usually close up the store) the POS debit/credit card machine thingy broke... and i still had about 4.5 hours left on my shift... so i had to deal with lots of irritated customers/.
and i had to call my manager to tell her.
and i also had to call the company who makes the machines to see if they could help me fix it... after about 20 min on the phone with a guy there, he decided that the machine was broken beyond repair, so i had to order a new one, which wont arrive until tuesday because the POS broke on a FRIDAY afternoon and they dont do deliveries over the fuckin weekend.
my manager isnt impressed. she probably thinks that i did something to break it but i honestly didnt. the pin pad screen just stopped showing anything and the terminal wouldnt connect to it. i dunno why, or what happened. i dont think it was me though...? the customers certainly seemed to blame me for it. i hate how bitchy people get. i put up 5 signs all around the cash register, facing in every direction that said "CASH ONLY" but probably 1/4 of them still tried to use their debit/credit cards... LEARN TO READ. uggggh.
other than that it was an ok day... johnny came to visit me on my break...<3 he left for his dads... hes there all weekend. =(
and this morning i fully demolished one of my toes... ran a door over it and the damn door cut into my toenail. it hurts. still.
so.
yeah.
later tonight i am dyeing my hair. hopefully it turns out okay.
lately i have been thinking about my career options.
things i am interested in and things i like and things i think could be fun or otherwise rewarding. i am not thinking about the money side of things.contrary to how i may appear, i dont need much to get by. i dont need a big house or lots of toys or whatever. so yes, i have been thinking about it.
i am going to give this english degree a shot. if it doesnt work out, if i get bored, or change my mind, there are plenty of things i could do. mount royal offers many "certificate" programs which get you qualified to work a specific job. the prices vary (all are a few thousand though). money isnt an issue. my parents have already said that they will pay for any sort of education i want to get. even if i finish my english degree, they said that if i wanted to get a certificate afterwards, they would pay for that too. so my options are wide open.
im not in a rush to make up my mind.
i have time to think about it.
obviously next year i am going back to u of c to continue this degree (in spite of the fucked up stupid schedule i am stuck with cuz u of c is fuckin retarded). it'll be... ... fun...
yeah...
oh john and i saw sicko a while ago, its pretty good.
stampede was fun! jordan and lyndon totally rode that big gigantic spinning ride thing (skyscraper maybe is its name)... intense... and jordan lyndon john and i rode the "mega drop"- the new drop of fear, which was actually frightening for at least three of us (would lyndon admit it?). yeah... we went with jordan, devon and heather, and while we were there met up with lyndon and his dad and rachel and some other guy who she was with. we watched the hypnotist- i wasnt convinced. im sure that they were actors! next time i'll send lyndon up to be a guinea pig or whatever. we stayed for the fireworks which were really pretty (and loud). yup.
umm what else. really same old stuff... working, hanging out with john, going to the gym, and having unfortunate mishaps and accidents along the way because such is my life.
i love you johnny... come back home =( <3
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Saturday, July 14th, 2007
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we're going stampeding tomorrow... yay!
I actually think the stampede is retardedly overrated but nevermind.
umm
i've been well, been keeping busy... seeing friends here and there... smoking a little weed, drinking a little beer, working (blah!), going to the gym, hanging out with john... and of course the stampede tomorrow.
did you guys hear about the stabbings a couple nights ago? 3 or 4 black guys in their 20s (i believe) went round in a car stabbing random people on the street... fucking nuts! the cops are saying its a gang initiation thing- the first "violent and public" initiation ever in Calgary. good to know. thats like my worst fear. im paranoid enough without this sort of random crime. thanks a lot forest lawn.
here are some pictures of random animals from crete (i still have lotsa photos left to be put up.. im a procrastinator)
have a good weekend
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Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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lol
just as many real parts as real porn stars have i guess.
anyway enjoy.
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| Time: | 7:17 pm. |
| Music: | xzibit- alcoholic, lily allen- alfie. |
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at workkk...
came in two hours early because someone else called in sick... blergh. I want to go home. But i have like an hour and 42 minutes left. thats a disgustingly long time. im bored.
im listening to my mp3 player... got bored of the same 10-15 songs played on the radio... i get it... before he cheats by carrie underwood, irreplaceable by beyonce, some horribly annoying hip hop song with lyrics i really cannot understand... all good things come to an end by nelly furtado... something by chris daughtry... rihanna, umbrella... over and over and over and fucking over again... uggggh... occasional justin timberlake and fallout boy (i can tolerate these)... otherwise i want to jab a pencil into my eardrums.
xzibit is so awesome. lawlz.
mad caddies are playing at the warehouse on the 18th. i work that day. so does john. and he has to get up early the next day. so i cant go. that sucks. blah.
bad religions new album comes out on the 10th. hell yeahhh
i am fucking COVERED in glitter.
fucking glittery cards. having to stock a whole shelf of cards covered in glitter is torture. i can see the sparkles on the tip of my nose, all over my hands, my clothes, my hair. i look ridiculous. stupid fucking hallmark.
an hour and 28 minutes left now.
i wonder how much time i can kill on neopets.
an hour and... ... ... ... ............... 15 minutes left!
someone wanna come in and rob me or something? itll keep things interesting.
UGH BEFORE HE CHEATS JUST CAME ON
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF
ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh
i cannot believe how slowly time goes by.
i havent been sleeping much lately.
not sure exactly why. the last 1.5-2 weeks have been sleepless. i feel like a zombie. i need a good nights rest.
oh we got the coolest card- it has a "the office" quote on the front (count choculitis... hot dog fingers... etc lolz). aweeeesome. i wanna buy it. except its a "get well" card and no one is sick. except me. in the head. because this song is making me homicidal. and the customers too, with their retarded questions.
an hour and 8 minutes!!!
UGGGGH
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Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
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Now get up and give in
I'll crack your knuckles again
Supplicate and survive this transubstantiation
And get so mean - I want to know what it means!
(Did you laugh?) You know I did
(Did you cry?) I couldn't get it right
(Did you live?) Always on the edge
(Did you lie?) Causing such a fright
(Did you love?) Oh to be forgiven
(Did you try?) But it wouldn't be right
God it feels like an honest goodbye!
That sick brass boy day dreamin'
Cry baby convict demon
Hands so clean - a sympathetic cold blooded killing machine
How did you get so mean? - I want to know what it means!
(Did you laugh?) You know I did
(Did you cry?) I couldn't get it right
(Did you live?) Always on the edge
(Did you lie?) Causing such a fright
(Did you love?) Oh to be forgiven
(Did you try?) But it wouldn't be right
God it feels like an honest goodbye!
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Saturday, June 30th, 2007
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I am currently at work... on my own... the shop has been very dead all day... so... here are some quiz results...
( blogthings )
Ok enough of that...
umm
i had something to say a second ago.
oh
right
has anyone else been following the medicine hat murder trial? If not, I suggest you google it and read all the news articles because it is beyond fascinating.
here is a brief recap... based on my terrible memory...
23 yr old man (jeremy steinke) meets 12 yr old girl (jasmine richardson) at a 'punk rock' show...
they begin corresponding over internet profiles on march 2nd 2006 (not sure how long they were dating before that, or what... not too long though, i dont think...) the messages are lovey-shit... the two are dating..
jasmines parents (predictably) disapprove of the relationship
on march 20 the internet correspondence turns to... "So I have this plan. It begins with me killing them and ends with me living with you...”
jeremy and jasmine decide to kill the parents and run to saskatchewan (i believe) together. i dunno exactly WHY they killed the parents- it may have been simply because they didnt like the relationship or there might have been more to it, i dunno (sure i'll find out when the trial really takes off)
jeremy is all worried that if he doesnt kill the parents, jasmine will dump him. he asks friends to help him with the murder, and they decline.
jeremy and jasmine (supposedly) watch 'Natural Born Killers' (movie) with friends (i believe)- its a movie about a couple who goes on a killing spree- beginning with the parents...
jeremy and jasmine (did she do any stabbing? i dunno) kill the parents... and jasmines 8 year old brother (FUCKED UP)...
the bodies are found on april 23rd- im not sure if they were killed on april 23 or 22 or what... in any case, on april 23rd jasmine takes a cab to jeremys trailer (CLASSY)... and appears sort of shaken up- a fight with parents? distressed about the bodies? i dunno the timeline
later that day they go to a friends house party and are seen making out and eating burgers. jeremy has a black eye.
umm
at some point within the next few days jasmine is reported missing, and she and jeremy try to escape with a friend (who wasnt aware of the murder at the time) in the friends truck...
the friends they are travelling with find a newspaper and read an article about the murders- shows it to jeremy and jasmine who (suprise, suprise) aren't surprised by the article. they talk about how the brother gargled when they slit his throat. (fucking sick)
shortly after, jeremy and jasmine are found by the cops and taken into custody
so theyre in jail (seperated obviously)... and they write letters to one another... mostly about how they love and support each other and "dont feel bad" and "we should have run away" (NEVER do they say "we shouldnt have killed them"- just that they should have run faster)... and jeremy asks jasmine to marry him... and shes very very very happy and says yes...
and now the trial is going on (over a year later- the girl is now 13, jeremy is 24)...
and the friends are testifying all this weird shit... apparently everyone that knows them (and them as well) are constantly stoned on cocaine and pot, and they're all on antidepressants and suffering from suicidal thoughts, cutting themselves and shit. and they (of course!) dress gothcore/like avril lavigne. thats very important apparently... like that jasmine started dressing in fishnets and shit after she met jeremy, very significant...
i am so excited for the movie.
well. technically theres no movie deal or anything.
not yet! wait a few years, this would make a perfect movie. someone wll see.
i am soooooo borrrreedd.ddd.dd
10 customers in the past hour and a half.
thats ridiculous.
oh and the benoit thing? classic!
though i did like chris back in like elementary school when i was heavily into the wwf... lolz
im hearing noises in the back of the store but theres NO ONE HERE. wtf is going on?!?! mice? should i be afraid??? oh god i have an hour and 25 minutes left til closing time...
ughughughuguhguhughuguhguhughuguhguhughuguhguhguhugh
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Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
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http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,21969117-663,00.html
"A PEDOPHILE who raped a 10-year-old girl will be free in just four months after a British judge said his victim had "dressed provocatively".
Window cleaner Keith Fenn, 24, could have been jailed for life after twice attacking the girl in a riverside park.
Judge Julian Hall was at the centre of a storm over the "pathetic" sentence he imposed after hearing the girl had appeared much older than her age.
The same judge caused uproar earlier this year by setting free another paedophile and telling him to give his victim money "to buy a nice new bicycle".
In the latest case, Oxford Crown Court heard harrowing details of the assault on the 10-year-old. She was attacked in a park in South Oxfordshire by Fenn and his accomplice Darren Wright, 34, on October 14 last year.
Fenn removed all her clothes and raped her, then Wright took her to his home and sexually assaulted her.
Yet Judge Hall said the case was exceptional because the "young woman" had been wearing a frilly bra and thong.
The girl has been in local authority care since the age of four.
She was on her own when she met the pair in the street. They went to the park together. The judge said he faced a moral dilemma.
The court heard that the girl regularly wore make-up, strappy tops and jeans.
"It is quite clear she is a very disturbed child and a very needy child and she is a sexually precocious child. She liked to dress provocatively," the judge said.
"Did she look like she was 10? Certainly not. She looked 16."
He gave Fenn concurrent two-year and 18-month sentences but he will be free in just weeks after spending eight months in jail awaiting sentence.
Wright is a free man because he too had served eight months on remand.
Yesterday Dr Michele Elliott, of Kidscape, said: "This is beyond pathetic, it is utterly derisory. For the judge to say that the way she was dressed in any way excuses a 24-year-old man having sex with her is disgraceful and ridiculous."
Fenn admitted two counts of rape of a child under 13 and Wright admitted one charge of causing or inciting sexual activity with a child aged under 13."
Jesus fucking christ.
I guess if you rape a child it's ok- as long as she looks older than her age then you have an excuse. Because, you know, a 24 year old raping and sexually assaulting a 16 year old is just dandy, common practice. Make up and jeans! How scandalous! She practically FORCED him to do it. How was he supposed to control himself? You pretty much never see young girls wearing make up or jeans! It's just too enticing!
Oh and if you have frilly underwear you're basically fucked. Nevermind the fact that he had to take off all her clothes in the first place so that he could SEE what kind of underwear she was wearing. I'm sure he was very relieved to see that it wasn't plain underwear, in which case his actions would have been nearly CRIMINAL.
And children who are raped are ok... just throw some cash at them like they're mini prostitutes. They'll forget all about the incident once they're riding around on their shiny new bicycle.
Whatever.
I hate people. This judge is probably a pedo himself. And that girl will bear the emotional scars for the rest of her life, and it will be 10x worse because she was blamed for the actions of the two fully grown men who attacked her. Wtf.
This just pisses me off.
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more photos from crete... this time from our trip to spinalonga.
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Thursday, June 21st, 2007
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umm
im ok
work is going fine
i had a shitty day today because of some hag with a teapot but nevermind that
mostly its pretty boring...
today is the first day of summer and john and my 3 year and one month anniversary... thats good...
im getting frustrated with my nail polish
blah
lovelove
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the past week or so has been a bit ugh
umm
monday i had my first day of work which was fine
tuesday i went to the gym, ran into kate, made plans to get together on saturday
wednesday morning i woke up with a slight stomachache. by the afternoon i had a fever. by the evening i felt like i was going to die. at 9:30 i threw up... A LOT... and then spent the night alternating between feeling so hot i was going to melt, to so cold i wanted to put on seven sweaters.
thursday was more of that.
friday i felt a bit better, and went to work, struggled with a fever while i was working though... i felt well enough to go to a party at jaretts house in turner valley, but probably shouldnt have gone since i felt like shit most of the night... with occasional 20 minute spells of feeling completely fine... i drank half a cooler... the party was (or WOULD have been if i wasnt sick) fun, we lit fireworks in a vacant field.. people drank (some perhaps drank too much), talked to some nifty people, etc, whatevs. john and i spent the night there, i didnt sleep more than a couple of hours though
saturday morning, felt like shit, went to the doctor, he made me take a pregnancy test (negative) and then prodded at my stomach, determined that i have a virus and gave me some pills. took the pills. they didnt help much, in fact they made me worse, felt like someone was stabbing me in the tummy. but i still went to kates apartment that evening, and johnny and i hung out with her and her boyfriend (who is also called john)... smoked a quality joint (her boyfriend sells drugs on the side) which helped the pain for about half an hour... the johns bonded over car stereo equipment, played video games and drank beer, the three of them took bong hits, i mostly sat back, tried to move as little as possible and put on a brave face
later that night i was at home in bed crying and crying and crying
i stopped taking those pills yesterday (sunday) because i preferred nausea/fever to stabbing pain... i went to work... came home, spent the evening vegging on the couch, the pain came and went, sometimes i felt fine, sometimes i wanted to toss myself in front of a train...
this morning i felt better... not 100%, but definitely on my way... i felt hungry for the first time since last tuesday and had a good breakfast... so thats a good sign... i'm gonna spend the day chilling... not doing much. my stomach is alternating between complete normalcy to moderate nausea.
i dunno why i always get "viruses". i am sick more than anyone i know. and i'm not an unhealthy person so it makes no sense to me. and i dont know why doctors are never more clear with me... all they ever say/diagnose me with is a "virus"... a couple years ago when i had that HORRIBLE illness, went to the emergency room and even after blood analysis and whatnot, all they'd say was that it was likely a virus of somesort. but what is it?
what i WANT to know is what i am doing wrong so that i can prevent this sort of crap from happening again. i wash my hands a million times a day, eat my fruits and veggies, exercise very regularly (except for the past week), get enough (but not too much) sleep, take a daily multi-vitamin, drink lots of water, brush my teeth at least twice a day, shower at least once a day, practice safe sex, etc, etc, etc. so wtf?
my sister said its probably stress but im not overly stressed about anything.
yeah
thats all for now
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Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
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Dani, Bri, Jackie, Emily (whoever happens to read this, I dunno?):
Do you remember in July, 2004, when we went to the Stampede (with a big group of people) and sang Sk8er Boi (Avril Lavigne) at the Karaoke place (where we sang Spice Girls the year before)??? Which one of us has the video that we had made? Does anyone? Any of you remember? Or did the tape get lost in oblivion?
Just curious.
It was a fun day... a fun summer in fact. Except that, looking at the pictures of all of us (on that disc Emily sent me ages ago) we are all ridiculous looking. We all look so young. And Emily and I are pretty much sun burnt to a crisp. And even the guys all look different and young. And Johnnys hair, LOL.It's so long.
Oh, who has the cassette with our Spice Girls recording on it?! Jackie, I'm looking at YOU. (I think, haha... erggg).
So... yeah.
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were i stronger; were i strong, i'd have some fighting strength- but i have none
if i'm not empty i'm not whole, there's something missing
there's something wrong
i dont know what to do
honestly
i kind of wish i could say that i was making this all up
i just dont know anymore
its been such a long time
i keep waiting for it to be over and it never seems to be
how ridiculous
how much longer
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pictures from crete
these are from in and around the hotel we were staying at
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progress may be gradual, slow, unassuming... you may not notice it, but it is still progress.
still
sometimes you need a sweeping gesture that provides you with concrete evidence. yes we are moving forward, yes things are getting better. and this proves it.
i'm not usually so impatient
i don't think
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i thinkkk i have a job now
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esperomuerte's journal